The Most Cliche Scenes
by lifeisabook
Summary: Parody made of little mini scenes that don't really fit together. If you are planning to flame because of the Mary Sue than you are in for a slight surprise at the end of scene one. Hope you like!
1. Chapter 1: Ocean of Tears

CHAPTER ONE

Ocean of Tears

AN: There will be three different scenes in each chapter. They are _not_ supposed to make one story put together; it's just a bunch of stupid scenes. This parody has no particular relationship to PJO, but its probably one of the most polluted Fandoms and so I am hoping my parodies will make people see sense and not write such horrible stuff. It's not as good as my other one, I know. But I hope you like!

Love Bites

And then… she broke through the surface of the glimmering moonlit waters of the ocean deep. Through her shining, violet eyes she spied her one true love. The stars twinkled off her hair, as black and sleek as a raven's wing. The aroma of jasmine beckoned from the night-blooming flowers on the shore. She could feel a gentle breeze going through her hair, making her feel even more carefree. She wanted, more than anything, to kiss her true love, who was gliding towards her. The two lovers swam to each other as dolphins frolicked in the waves around them. Their eyes met and they embraced in the passionate promise of love for all eternity. As their lips met… a shark came up and bit the girl on the bum.

Sinking Fast

And then… she broke through the surface of the sea to find starlit waters around her. She turned her head, flipping long, sleek, nut-brown locks to see her true love waiting on the shore. She swam elegantly through the waves. Her bright blue-green eyes sparkled when she looked up to see her true love so near. Underneath the salty smell of the ocean winds, she could make out the scent of the red roses her love had brought for her. The stars twinkled in an indigo night sky, next to a shining full moon. Dolphins romped in the swells of the ocean blue. Schools of fish, gleaming silver in the moonlight, darted in and out of the surf as she glided toward the shore, as graceful as a swan. She stepped onto the smooth, fine sand. She ran towards her beloved on the beach… failing to notice the _'quicksand here'_ sign and swiftly sinking while the love of her life sat there and laughed at her.

Falling in Love

And then… she broke the surface of the smooth, glassy ocean. Her clear, blue eyes shone with the light of the full moon. Sitting on the shore gesturing to her was the love of her life. Her long, wavy golden tresses flowed behind her, glistening in the moonlight. The aroma of the coconuts growing on the palm trees mixed with the smell of the daisies on the shore made the air smell sweet and sugary. The stars twinkled and glimmered in a clear night sky. Groups of silvery fish made a trail to guide her to shore, where her beloved was waiting for her. She cut through the starlit waves gracefully, as dolphins came to frolic in the waters around her. She stood on the beach, smooth sand beneath her feet. She took a step toward her love… only to promptly trip over her own feet, fall flat on her face, and break her nose.

I know, I know, it's too short, only 659 words. But, because it's the same humor every time, I felt that it needed to be brief. I made my point, didn't I?

R&R please! Please, please, please? Pretty please?

THANK YOU FOR READING

By the way, it helps a lot to read it in a very dramatic voice. It's funnier.


	2. Chapter 2: Dinner Date

CHAPTER TWO

DINNER DATE

AN: These scenes take place in a romantic Italian restaurant. Caution- If you are unable to withstand extreme laughter, I highly suggest that you do not read this article.

Dinner is Served

The dim light reflected off her violet eyes, making her beautiful face glow. She and her true love sat across from each other, clasping hands beneath the table. A dreamy look passed over her face as she thought about the boy she sat with. Her dark, indigo silk gown set off her stunning eyes perfectly. Her sleek, black hair was tied back in an elegant bun. She wore glistening amethyst jewelry around her wrist and neck, and flower-shaped lilac earrings. Pale lavender eye-shadow and crimson lips made her delicate face even prettier. The aroma wafting from the kitchen was luscious. She could feel the warmth of the hands she clutched under the table. Outside the window, stars twinkled and the moon shone brightly in the sky. Italian music played and she listened to the gorgeous sound of a deep bass voice singing dramatically in Italian. Her true love gazed deeply into her eyes and she looked into his, feeling as though nothing else in the world existed. They leaned forward and their lips met. They cherished the long, sweet kiss, wanting it to go on forever. They felt they could go on for all eternity… yet they were wrong, because a waiter came to give them their salads and had to awkwardly break them up.

Choking Up

The dim light reflected off her blue-green eyes, making her beautiful face glow. Her long, straight, nut-brown hair framed her delicate face. Her emerald skirt with a lighter, olive-green top made her fine figure even more stunning, and made her eyes seem to shimmer with color. She wore her hair down, with a dark, forest green headband and simple, sparkling earrings made of emeralds. Her olive eye-shadow and dark pink lips made her image still lovelier. The two lovers gazed across the table at each other, feeling as though they could get lost in the wondrous moment, in the eyes into which they stared. Romantic Italian music played in the background. The pair felt as though there was nothing in the world, except them and the table beneath which their hands were clasped. So lost in love were they, that they barely noticed when their salads came. They began to nibble, the salads delicious, and they continued to gaze into each other's eyes, utterly entranced. The girl was suddenly jerked out of her trance, when she…choked on a crouton.

Yowling Young Love

The dim light reflected off her clear blue eyes, making her beautiful face glow. Her long, wavy golden locks fell across her back and shoulders freely, framing a face of large, graceful features. Her pastel, sky-blue dress matched her eyes almost exactly, and brought out the color. She wore sapphires in her ears, around her neck and wrists and a small jeweled ring on her left hand. Her baby-blue eye-shadow and pale pink lipstick on her full lips was the perfect thing to complete her splendor. She ate her salad, thinking about the wonderful date she was on with her true love. A waiter came to take their salads and they ordered their meals. Her voice was like an entire chorus together, a lovely soprano that made her love long to hear her sing. Gazing into his eyes, she realized she never wanted this moment to end, wanted this moment to last forever. A wonderful soprano came from speakers on the ceiling, playing a dramatic opera-sounding Italian song. Their dinners soon came and they began to eat, the delicious food a perfect aspect to the ideal date. For a moment she was lost in the faultlessness of the food. Her beloved began to say something and as she raised her head to look at him… she spilled marinara sauce all over her gorgeous dress and started to wail.

Hope you liked! I know it's not really that funny, but it's a lot of fun to write. If you really don't like it, I'll delete it. I don't want to pollute Fanfiction any more than it already is.

R&R

PLEASE!


	3. Chapter 3: Heavanly Meadow

CHAPTER THREE

Heavenly Meadow

An: This one is the last chapter, sadly. Luckily for me, who loves writing it, and for you, who obviously somewhat enjoys reading it if you're reading the third chapter, there may be a sequel. We'll see. It all depends on reviews and my mood (which is _quite _unpredictable). Hope you enjoy this final chapter.

Blow My Heart Up

The meadow was a heavenly lush green. The sun shone down from a clear bright blue sky. A breeze, gentle and cool, rustled the grass. Flowers of all colors scented the air with their wonderful aroma. The reds and blues and yellows seemed to make an arc, the shape of a perfect rainbow. Butterflies fluttered, landing on the colorful petals. They swarmed together, creating bright pulsing clouds of splendid color. But despite all the beauty surrounding her, she was still stunning. Her amethyst eyes matched a violet flower in her sleek black hair. Her eyes had a light dusting of dark indigo eye-shadow. No lipstick was needed because her smile was radiant. The lilac shirt and plum-colored skirt made her still more glowing. She spotted her true love waiting on the other side of the field, waving to her. She took a step toward the love of her life, the person that she lived to see, that she would have died to save… and blew everything up because it was a minefield.

Honey Trap

The meadow was a heavenly, lush green. She could see her love, waiting for her. Her blue eyes glimmered in the sunlight, her thick, long blonde hair swinging behind her in a perky ponytail. She had on a striking sky-blue dress that matched her eyes. No make-up was on her face, but her beautiful, carefree smile was all she needed. It seemed as if the word 'paradise' had been captured in one glorious picture: bright flowers strewn across the ground, butterflies fluttering through the air, the sky a brilliant blue with a warm, shining sun. She felt happy, wonderfully, splendidly happy. She ran for her beloved and her arms reached out to him. Her wonderful, carefree laugh mixed with the sound of bird-song and chirping crickets. The grass felt heavenly against her feet as she dashed towards her true love. The smell of flowers and springtime filled her nose. She took one more step towards the love of her life… and cried out in pain because she had stepped in a bear trap.

Crushed my Heart

The meadow was a heavenly, lush green. Her sparkling emerald dress and the meadow's lustrous color brought out her stunning sea-green eyes. A light dusting of olive eye-shadow and pale pink lipstick showed her lovely face to its best advantage. Her cheeks were flushed with pure happiness. She was delighted to see her true love, handsome as ever. She longed to hear his rich, deep voice among the chirping crickets and singing birds. A breeze blew gentle aromas from the colorful blossoms through the air. As she sprinted towards the love of her life, her wavy coffee-brown hair flowed behind her like a slowly rising and falling wave. She felt as if she could fly, so filled with joy was she. Her feet barely seemed to touch the soft grass and soil beneath her as she ran towards her true love. He stood there, smiling, his arms open. As they crashed together in passionate embrace, his arms soft around her… a giant stepped out of the clouds and crushed the whole meadow.

Two small notes: If you know the song in which the first scene's title is used as part of the chorus, tell me in your review, as I really like the song, and Thank you to whoever wrote the play 'Into the Woods' for the idea for the ending of the last scene.

R&R

Pretty please with sugar on top?


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